{"product_id":"official-phoenix-shaving-holiday-christmas-ornaments-available-in-2-styles-shatterproof","title":"Official Phoenix Shaving Holiday \u0026 Christmas Ornaments | Available in 2 Styles! | Shatterproof Safety Ornaments","description":"\u003cp style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: #ff2a00;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eChoose Color \u0026amp; Design From Drop Down \u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch2 style=\"text-align: left;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: #080808;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThis One's For The Children\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWhat could be more \u003cem\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eEpically Festive\u003c\/strong\u003e \u003c\/em\u003ethan one (or possibly two) of our Shatterproof Holiday \u003cem\u003eSafety Ornaments\u003c\/em\u003e? Safety, because the holidays can be scary.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNo, that's a little too much. Let me try something a little lighter...\u003cem\u003eahem\u003c\/em\u003e:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003ca style=\"text-decoration: none; background: #f59542; font-size: 16px; text-align: center; font-family: arial-black; cursor: pointer; color: #07548f; padding: 12px 30px; border-radius: 3px;\" href=\"https:\/\/phoenixartisanaccoutrements.com\/collections\/holiday-ornaments\" target=\"_blank\"\u003eFind Our Holiday Ornament Collection HERE!\u003c\/a\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSome Traditions Are Just Plain Pant Wetting!\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eI never quite understood the custom of dangling thin glass \u003cem\u003ebombs\u003c\/em\u003e from a tree that children will be crawling around excitedly come Christmas morning...\u003cem\u003eand more than likely barefoot too!\u003c\/em\u003e It's almost like we hate children and created a kid trap. \u003cem\u003eDo we hate children? Do we...?\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eOk, this sales page is going horribly wrong, let me try one last time:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWWSD?\u003c\/strong\u003e (Santa not Satan)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHere at Phoenix Shaving we believe you need to Stop hating children and try our \u003cstrong\u003e\u003cem\u003eEpically Festive \u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003eShatterproof Holiday \u003cem\u003eSafety Ornaments!\u003c\/em\u003e Guaranteed to be safe or your money back!\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cimg style=\"display: block; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;\" src=\"https:\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0281\/5884\/files\/Shatterproof_Ornament_Ad_480x480.jpg?v=1637797463\" alt=\"\"\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHmmm, not sure if I really want to keep going with that angle. I really just wanted to use \u003cstrong\u003e\u003cem\u003eEpically Festive\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e and \u003cstrong\u003e\u003cem\u003eSafety Ornaments\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e in a sentence. That said, that is exactly what these ornaments are! Shiny, round time machines built to withstand one terrifying holiday season into the next! \u003cem\u003eBe safe out there \u0026amp; protect the children.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThanks For Your Continued Support!\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWe are honored to be part of your holiday celebration this year and years to come! Thanks for taking us in this holiday season, you ROCK! \u003cstrong\u003e\u003cem\u003eShave On \u0026amp; Merry Xmas Friends!\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cem\u003eEpically Festive Safety Ornaments! \u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e(ok i'm done)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e[\u003cem\u003eI may need to take a break before writing the next sales page and stay away from the nog.\u003c\/em\u003e]\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eApprox. Size: 3\"\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eListing for one holiday ornament\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Phoenix Shaving","offers":[{"title":"Red","offer_id":39833399984176,"sku":"","price":6.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Green","offer_id":39833400016944,"sku":"","price":6.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0281\/5884\/files\/official-phoenix-shaving-holiday-christmas-ornaments-available-in-2-styles-shatterproof-safety-ornaments-209021.jpg?v=1726347649","url":"https:\/\/phoenixshaving.mom\/products\/official-phoenix-shaving-holiday-christmas-ornaments-available-in-2-styles-shatterproof","provider":"Phoenix Shaving","version":"1.0","type":"link"}